Simple blue flower
by Kanb
Summary: They were a happy item back then. But a relationship don't always last forever, so here he was sitting in the asylum and staring out the window reminisce all the good and the bad days. WARNING: Character death, Attempted suicide. A/n: Part 2 (Akashi's POV) is released
1. Blue Flower

It started to snow again. It's the second week this time. In exact six days it's _his _birthday. Thinking about him always bring tears and sorrow. No matter how hard he tries to forget that red haired person. There is always something that will be a reminder. Almost everything he looked at. In the white disinfected room the snow white walls for example reminds him of a time when Seijuurou have gifted him a boquet full of white roses, or when they visited a flower field full of wild white flowers. But staring at those walls for a long time, you sure will be seeing red spots. Guilty red spots, which can never be cleaned clear forever. Making a pale patient all crazy.

_He_ had turned 20 when **that** happend. He, however was only 21 back then.

The thought of losing your love/lover never really crossed his mind. Even though he knows that a relationship could never last forever, at least he had hoped it would be l very long-standing one.

He dreamt to much it seems and was woken up with a too terrifying reality.

He was 18 when they broke up.

At first it really hurts and he couldn't understand _why him?_ He has always been a faithful lover but for Seijuurou, it wasn't enough. He merely broke Kuroko's beating heart in thousand pieces and left the powder blue haired boy crying heartrendingly at the playground by night, alone.

At that hard time, his best friend Kagami comforts him in his own odd but cute way. Those days really warms up his bruised heart. But nothing could replace a first love. Those feelings have been engraved in his soul from the first time meeting the pretty red head. It couldn't completely be forgotten that easily.

The longing to touch the milky soft skin which contrast so beautiful against the firce red hair was immense, especially when seeing him somewhere around unexpectedly.

What is more unexpected was the way that his sincerely smile is now directed at that senpai of his instead of him. Suddenly Kuroko wasn't the attention of his former lover anymore.

And in a full turn, Chihiro Mayuzumi was the source to all his sudden unhappiness. That guy took everything away from him. The basketball playstyle back at the winter cup the way he his allowed to whisper against Seijuurou ear, the way their lips brushed softly against each other's and what hurt the most is to hear Seijuurou's angelic laugh which is set at that boy. Nothing aches more than to know that your once lover have moved on...

So he doesn't understand all the more what Akashi had told him over the mobile phone, while gazing at each other on opposite buildings at the rooftop in the cold season 6 years ago.

„_Tetsuya, you don't understand." The sad voice of his once lover on the phone sounds more dramatical than it was intended and it got a huge effect on Kuroko's already weak heart._

„_What is there to understand? You leave me saying that you loved me. Shouldn't we stay because we love each other? I really loved- still loves you, so why? Tell me please, Seijuurou." Tears which was hold back are now streaming down the pale skin, freely. Soft sobs erupted Kuroko's mouth, making him look more pitiful than ever. _

„_I truly love you. So don't push me away." Saying those words softly against his phone, his vision got more and more teary by minutes._

„_Don't cry, I don't deserve it. I told you to not love me but to love Kagami. He is a good person who can make you truly happy."_

_„No, **you** don't understand! Kagami is just a friend. I like him just as a friend. Nothing romantic involved like I do for you, Seijuurou!"_

_„It's not easy. But O know for sure that he is able to bring you more happiness than I ever will. Tetsuya I just want your forgiveness for what I have done to you. It wasn't fair and I just hope you will understand and move on to be happy again. Your happiness is of most importance."_

_Kuroko stared at the opposite building not far from his own rooftop building. He could see Akashi's marine blue dufflecooat and the snow whcih falls down the red head's hair makeing the scene look so innocent and romantic._

_But what will come in a minute was far from that._

„_Then just stay with me, like in the earlier days."_

_Shaking his head softly, Akashi smiles. A warm smile with a sad looking face. _

„_Life has never been fair. We can't be together. So please just forget me and move on with that friend of yours. Don't be so stubborn for once and see what your life offers you. Use the opportunity which I didn't do, so please do me that last favour."_

_Sinking to his knees, Kuroko's aching hearts reached a maximum. His head start to feel heavy and his fingers starts to tremble from the cold and from the psychic pain. His tears doesn't seem to stop._

„_I can't! I just c- can't." _

_From the view, he could see how Seijuurou throws his mobile phone down the edge, in seconds the converstion stops aprupt. _

_Skyblue eyes widen in an instant and he reached forward but was held back by a huge fence which was put at the brink of the rooftop._

_No. Please no._

_In slowmotion, Kuroko could see how the body of his red haired lover reached forward. In time he was holding the fence with all his strength, as if it would hold Akashi back from the dangerous height, he saw the red head smile while mouthing a word he doesn't understand._

_A loud screaming echoed. And a body was fallen. The world broke down for a second time for Kuroko._

_Broking down with uncontrollable sobs, Kuroko just laid on the floor crying. __He could bear a fight with Akashi. Even a break up he could bear halfway. But how? How is he going to live when he knows that Seijurou is not with him anymore. How..._

_Live has always been more cruel with him. Because he had loved Seijuurou more than the other way around. So he dying would be the same as him dying too._

„_Ughhh- You promised... ughh- you promised to stay with me no matter what, so why? Why are you doing this to me, do you hate me this much?!"_

He still doesn't know the answer to that. Seijuurou must had really hated him to take his life. Resulting him being miserable forever. Moving on with Kagami? How could he do that after just loosing Akashi? It was horrible enough to know the fact that he no longer lives on this planet with him. When they were still happy, they have promised to only love each other and to be there for one another. Well, Akashi was there for him, when his grandma died and he was also there for him when Nigou suddenly disappeared. They were really happy back then. So happy that the break up wasn't foreseen at all.

Staring outside the slightly frozen window, the snow continues to drop.

In the white cell for 4 years really makes him more unemotional than he ever was. He lost his motivation to live long ago. The many scars on his wrist and arm are a constant reminder of it.

„Do you know how I feel right now, Seijuurou?"

On the nightside table was a white porcelain vase with a single blue flower in it.

* * *

A/n: Thank you guys for reading. I know this fic is all angsty and stuff. But it was fun writing someting different. Hope you guys like it.

If you want I can write one more in Akashi's POV.

The flower in the end symbolize for longing.

Kuroko in the asylum is 27 years old.

Akashi died with 20.


	2. Ending blood scene

A young adult in his early 20s was making his way to the main train station in Tokio. It has been years since he takes a foot to this city. He lived half of his live in this town where he met many people.

_Kuroko Tetsuya_

Last week Kuroko called him and inveited him out to some café in Tokio. But he wasn't ready to face him again. So he cancelled it, like any other invitation he got from Kuroko.

Yeah, Kuroko. If you would ask him what that teens means to him, he would say that he is indeed a very precious friend of his and that they have hold a special bond _before_. But that was in the past. Everything was in the past, which of course should be. He hurt him. Betrayed him. Hurt him again and again. And he knows that the other still loves him, won't move on until he is gone. Being guilty of all his failures was drwoning him out. He is scared to build up that bond what they once had, again. So he decided to let it be like it is now. This way would be the best after all.

He is tired of telling Kuroko that. Tired of seeing that tears strained face. So there was only one option left to prove him that it's really over. And this time he will show and demonstrate it to Kuroko the last time. But still there was that part of him deep down- deep within his soul where the guilt layes that, still wants to go back and returning to the arms of Kuroko.

He knows he had hurt that boy but back then he couldn't find the right word and maybe he was too proud to do such things like apologizing. And now after being old enough it's time to repair what's broken before it's too late.

Taking out his mobile phone he stared at the digital time on the screen which reads 3 am.

It's too early. Yesterday he planned to have this ordeal at the train station. But with his inner conflict he choose another place. A place where everything had started. From the fond memories to the more unwanted and hurtful memories. What hurt the most at that time would be to have a choice to change it, but not being able to do it, like roots binding you to the floor, not letting you have the way you wished it to end. So just like that standing now at a ragged building seeing that school building right in front of your crimson eyes, brought tears to his eyes.

Yeah he was back. But he was still inside him. Watching over him, like an older brother. Not wanting the younger one to suffer. That was _his_ job. Shielding him from mental sufferings like humilation or heartaches. All that he had to undergo that painful year- and he was there for him. All this time. He really was glad for it. He was there for him like Kagami Taiga is for Kuroko now. He really hopes he does. When he won't be here anymore, he must have an insurance about who would take care for Kuroko, when he wasn't around. Aomine wouldn't be such a good choice. Chuckling softly he took out his phone from his thick coat again, sending Kuroko the message to meet him at Teikou's rooftop. Tuckling it back in his coat, he seated himself near a framework, having a good look at the school. Not long after 28 minutes he could see Kuroko running around the rooftop seeing completely confused. It's about time to dedicate Kuroko up with his plans. With slowly steps ne neard the platform, helding his phone at his ear. His gaze was directed straight to the powder blue haired looking teen.

„Seijuurou? What are you doing up there, stay back it's dangerous!"

Closing his crimson eyes, feeling the cold breeze touching his already cold skin, a small smile grazed his face.

„You don't understand it." Opening his eyes he continued to smile, stroking the long strands from his forehead. „I do this for you, especially you."

Kuroko launches at he fence which seperated him from the dangerous height. Akashi is glad that the school build it for times like this. This way he was sure that Kuroko wouldn't end like him.

„What is there to understand? You leave me saying that you loved me. Shouldn't we stay because we love each other? I really loved- still loves you, so why? Tell me please, Seijuurou after all this is something I truely never wanted." Soft sobs could be heard from Kuroko's mouth, making him look more pitiful than ever.

Yeah he remembered the day they broke up- it was in the year where his other self was taking over his body, where he was mostly unconscious of his surrounding. His other self couldn't stand Kuroko and he knew that. Seeing upcoming bedlam he choose to rather have a break up with his loved one than being the reason for all the hurt which result to a break up and being foes. This way they could still be ‚friends' and he could still be with Kuroko. But that was a misstep on his part. Not much later he told his dear friends to go to seperate high schools, in order to see which of them would win in the end, cause winning with the same team and that continuesly would be rather boring. Another reason to it was to held a distance to Kuroko. In hope he could move on slowly but that was another mistake in their relationship it seems. In high-school Akashi met a person very similar to Kuroko, who he started dating and Kuroko had seen them on one exhibition of japanese literature. He seemed hurt and wanted a one to one talk , where Akashi again explained to him that it's time to move on. But the poor boy refused. Akashi still remembered that painful look on his ex-lover's face and how he runned off with that tall red haired guy who waited at a stand. It turns later out that the person was Kagami Taiga. Yeah, Kagami's encounter with him had always ended with a tense atmosphere.

„I truly love you. So don't push me away, please." Hearing those words softly against his phone, his heart aches in a familiar way again. Having that feeling was disturbing for Akashi. He really would like to run down the stairs and go up to Teikou's rooftop and hug Kuroko and tell him that everything is all right, that he is there fort he smaller one. But he can't and he shouldn't especially when he went this far already.

„Don't cry, I don't deserve it. I told you to not love me but to love Kagami. He is a good person who can make you **truly** happy." Which Akashi wasn't able to anymore. He wished he could cherish the loving boy to the fullest. To fullfill his most ardent dream- living with him until they get old and die together.

„No, **you** don't understand! Kagami is just a friend. I like him just as a friend. Nothing romantic involved like I do for you, Seijuurou!" Kuroko sounded so hurt and frustrated, the way he jolt the fence with each word surprised me anew. Hearing him saying it, only shows how thick headed Kuroko is about his decisions. He really doesn't want to let go though...

„It's not easy. But I know for sure that he is able to bring you more happiness than I ever will. Tetsuya I just want your forgiveness for what I have done to you. It wasn't fair and I just hope you will understand and move on to be happy again. Your happiness is of most importance." The final words I have always wanted to say are not more than a whisper. I stared at my shoes not hearing Kuroko. I really feel sorry.

„Then just stay with me, like in the earlier days." Kuroko is so naive. When they were younger he thought the same too. But the older he gets, the more he realised that their relationship will never worked out regardless of being in love with each other.

His family was against it. His relationship with Kuroko he had was held secretly for many years. He also knows that at a certain age an arranged marriage would be forthcoming. And he don't want Kuroko to be his number two. He should stay his number one forever. Everything becomes too much at the end. So this is the only way to get free from all his bounded duties as an heir of Akashi. It's obvious that this choice is selfish and will have a huge impact on Kuroko's life but he just can't help it. Everything does not run the way he wants it to be. He just want to shut his eyes- and this time forever.

„Life has never been fair. We can't be together. So please just forget me and move on with that friend of yours. Don't be so stubborn for once and see what your life offers you. Use the opportunity which I didn't do, so please do me that last favour." Shaking his head softly, Akashi smiles. A warm smile with a sad looking face.

„I can't! I just c- can't." A lot of tears streams down his pale cheeks. He slowly sinked down to his knees and layed like that. He gripped the fence like his hand depends on it. Akashi doesn'T want to hear anymoore hurtful words from Kuroko so he throws his mobile phone down the edge.

„Sorry for breaking that precious promise of yours. I'm so sorry... Please take good care of yourself."

Akashi's upperbody moved forward and he fells face down first. The wind was so cold. Like that heart of his. His body is so numb and he felt tears were sliding down his cheek slowly. Trying to reminisce his good time in life, he closed his eyes. Remembering Kuroko's smile, hsi soft touches and his beautiful powder blue colored hair...

While still in his thought, Tetsuyas loud aguish scream echoed one last time.

With a fast thud, his world turns black forever.

Blood sprayes on the gray pavement.

* * *

Thank you for continued reading this fic.

I really feel honored :)


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